Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Ezekiel 4: Eat Poop

As I've mentioned in previous posts, God occasionally has his prophets perform little object lessons for the Israelites to make His messages absolutely clear. Like when God forces Hosea to marry a prostitute to describe God's relationship with the people--who have been whoring after other deities. As is apparent, these little skits are everything but subtle.

But God makes one prophet in particular, Ezekiel, run these charades with some frequency, thus turning him into the Lord's very own kindergarten teacher for remedial-level Israelites. But unlike the cute lessons you learned in pre-school show-and-tell, Ezekiel's lessons are gross and degrading.

For instance, in 5:1-5, Ezekiel must shave off all his hair and then 1) burn some, 2) cut some with a sword, and 3) scatter some--to show that different Israelites will have different fates when divine calamity strikes. At another point, God has him lay on one side for 390 days to indicate the number of years--also 390--that the Israelites will suffer God's wrath (Ezekiel 4:4-5). And then there's the time when God makes Ezekiel tie himself up and lock himself in his house, to show that the people won't listen to prophets any more (3: 25-26).

But as absurd as some of these lessons are, God saves his most disgusting for Ezekiel 4:12.

This passage takes place during the 390 days (that's over a year, people!) when Ezekiel is lying on his side. (I hope that the prophet isn't a back-sleeper.) During that time, the Lord suggests--well, demands--that the prophet observe certain dietary restrictions:

"And you, take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them into one vessel, and make bread for yourself" (4:9) Not so bad, right? Whole grains are good for heart health! Well, wait ... God continues, "You shall eat it as a barley cake, baking it in their sight on human dung" (4:9-12). Yup, that's right ... on human dung. For over a year, Ezekiel must eat food that has been prepared over burning feces.

All of which makes the absolutely real Ezekiel 4:9 organic bread pictured above sound a little yucky, right? And hilarious! Biblical literacy is important, food movement!

But why does God make Zeke expose himself to airborne e. coli like that? Well, the Lord continues, "Thus shall the people of Israel eat their bread, unclean, among the nations to which I will drive them" (4:13). In other words, when God throws his people out of the holy land (as He shortly will), they will have to eat unclean food among unclean foreigners. (At some point during this time, God--perhaps seeing the cruelty of his ways--allows Ezekiel to cook his food over cow dung. Thank heaven for small mercies, right?)

But couldn't he let Ezekiel just say as much? Deliver a sermon on the temple steps where he cries, "If you continue in your ways, God will throw you out of Israel, and you'll have to eat poop!" Wouldn't that be sufficiently startling?

And isn't this months-long piece of performance art exquisite torture for poor Ezekiel, whose only mistake seems to be accepting God's call to prophecy?

The answer to both of these questions is undeniably "yes," but we have to realize that God is at wit's end by Ezekiel's age--and at a point where He must go to extremes in trying to reach out to the people of Jerusalem.

Ezekiel was likely written in the run-up to the Babylonian exile, during which time God is forced to sink to new lows in speaking to a people whose sins have brought them to the brink of disaster. Reverting to simple shock value, God--through Ezekiel--therefore treats his people as addled pre-teens, and He'll try anything to get their attention.

Of course, He'll fail. Or perhaps more correctly, the Israelites will fail to get the point--scatologically obvious though it is. For the disasters of 586 B.C.E.--with the invasion of the Babylonians and the destruction of the temple--are nearly upon them. And all of Ezekiel's poop-eating will be for naught.

Poor Ezekiel.

33 comments:

  1. maybe this is the inspirations for the fast growing scat porn

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  2. christianity is flawed religion

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    1. The flaw is the story of us, a flawed people, interacting with God who is perfect

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    2. Of "us"?
      Please don't put the rest of us in the same dung pot with you, your dear jews and your jewish god.
      We're nothing like you. Hence it can't be the "story of us".

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    3. The father God is not perfect, for if he was then all people good and evil would love him, yet God does all things for a reason and I wouldn't go as far as to say Christianity is flawed, but it has long been infiltrated by Roman Catholicism which detours myriads from true fellowship and service to God.

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  3. Its not so fascinating....every religion has its own share of nonsense...Islam has Camle piss prescribed as medicine,and ppl consider farts of imams as smelling of musk.
    In Bible as well god curses ppl of israel that they will eat their own children.
    Religion is man made.Fuk tat.

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    1. Yes. Because both Islam and Christianity are "abrahamic religions" which means they are jewish at core. So it's no surprise they all have a twisted and sick obsession over poop, voma, cannibalism, piss and other related dirts.

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  4. Muslims still eat pooh...

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  5. firstly you have got to understand that the books of moses and the prophets are related to present time. they are in the land of the living where God is a GOD of the living, and not of the dead.
    the word of God was never meant to be read in a historical way, but as a book of prophesy for the SPIRITUAL MAN. and this section of ezekiel is no different!
    in this scripture God is letting everyone today know the consequences of adhearing to false doctrine.
    the bread that the prophet is instructed to make, relates to doctrine. hence ezekiels reply..."MY SOUL HATH NOT BEEN POLUTED FROM MY YOUTH UP" the dung that commeth out of man (in todays lingo) represents what we call "CRAP" (or) lies. he is told to "BAKE IT" because by doing so it will give this doctrine of lies seemingly solid credibility, to the point where (as paul states)it will decieve even the VERY ELECT! the prophet is instructed to put the mixture into ONE VESSEL (v9)and the apostle paul takes up the subject in the book of 2 thessalonians by informing Gods people just where this deceptive vessel would be located (ch2v3-12)
    THESE ARE THE COSEQUENCES OF GOING TO GOD VIA MAN, AND NOT DIRECTLY AS THE DISCIPLE SIMON DID WHEN ASKED BY THE LORD...WHOM DO YOU SAY THAT I AM.

    MAKE NO MISTAKE GOD DONT JOKE!

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    1. Without a doubt, you are undeniably insane, right?

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    2. You and your "god" are sick and demented! The bible, characters are nothing more than an astronomical stories! there are nothing but copies from older pagan religions that stem from astrotheology/solar myths.

      http://www.truthbeknown.com/

      http://www.examiner.com/list/top-10-myths-about-the-religion-part-of-zeitgeist

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    3. You position is, is that god was real then and was hanging around actually having a face to face meeting? That's just stupid.

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    4. "the word of God was never meant to be read in a historical way, but as a book of prophesy for the SPIRITUAL MAN."

      Erm...okay. I don't quite see how eating shit can possibly help you spiritually, but if you insist ..then fine; go eat some more dung and get immortal. I'll stick to yoga and original oriental meditation schedule.

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    5. you mean to tell me eating shit doesn't make you feel ashamed and wonder what you have done wrong?

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    6. besides the bible is not a book but a collection of books and writing historical, peotic, symbolic, revelatory, instructive....there is a lot of history in the bible

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    7. How the fuck do you know? Also Enki was our main creator god. The bible and such plagiarized the Sumerian tablets. Please wake up sleeping monkey. Wake up to see these Annuaki are our genetic gods who created us as the perfect slave. Now one brother hates the other. As above so below. Dumb ass brain washed idiot

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  6. Organized religion IS A JOKE!!!

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  7. lol hooray for poop

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  8. First of all, I feel sorry for people who are non-believers and call God's instruction a lie or fake or unreal! The God I serve is REAL! He Is all-powerful and all knowing! Who made you? did you just happen to create yourselves? no! God is real and He is just! one thing for sure, all of these extra comments are a disgrace to the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD. But thank God He gives mercy! much prayers!

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    1. Oh dam bitch you drank the kool aid hahaha God is real, but he's not what you think. The god you serve hates you hence the flood. Two brothers are at war over their genetic pet project in which they needed slaves. Use your brain No all powerful god would need chariots or food, or would have to ask where Adam and Eve were. You poor poor dear you do have a brain wake up and smell the poop your god made Ezekiel eat hahaha

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  9. Christianity is not a religion, it is the name of the followers of Christ....ever person that professes to be a Christian and doesn't follow Christ is a liar....

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    1. religion are the games that people play with doctrine, if we never have a doctrine we know that GOD so loved the WORLD that HE gave His only begotten SON that whosever believes will be saved from the deception of satan to take them straight to hell....I once didn't know who was real islam, christanity, atheist and I prayed the GOD would reveal himself to me...in fifty years I have had three epiphanies, meaning CHRIST has appeared to me three times in dreams and visions....I cant tell another man about his faith, but mines has been solidified!!!! not against anyone faith but JESUS died for me, maybe not you.

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  10. Some people are really Dumb...!!!

    HE DIDN'T EAT THE DUNG DUMB ASS HE ONLY USED IT BAKE THE BREAD.

    Meaning used the Heat Of the Dung to Bake with.

    Man some people are so Thick it's unreal..!!!

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    1. Doesn't matter that he didn't eat it the e coli is in the air DUMBASS. Not only that, how would you feel lying on your side for over a year? How about being ordered to rape women and kill babies? What would a loving god do that for? DUMB ASS THAT WASN'T GOD, He has indeed fool the world

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  11. God is a Poop eater.

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  12. God will suffer you establish you and do what ever he needs to do to give us fair warning about turning away from our deaf ears and hard hearted to harken unto his living word so we could receive him,With the teaching of love faith and patience to endure the wickedness of the world and the thing to come,So they can be lifted up by believing on his word,So yes if God put me through the same as Ezekiel I would gladly accept the task

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  13. The gravity of star is researched by earth measured and also described in and Ezekiel

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  14. You make me sick, not God you, may you slip on your own dung, while the Quran is literally shoved down your throat until you call out to the Lord In your mind and to Jesus!!!! God will not be mocked.:)

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  15. Thank you lord for i am a Christian. Most analysis by some readers of Bible are based on Psychology reasoning or worldly knowledge. For us with revelational knowledge, God explains to us better the context of the Bible.

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